Would you comment on the practical ramifications of church discipline when it concerns a family member? Let’s say a woman is divorcing her husband for unbiblical reasons.  She has been urged to repent by the elders, her family, and the church.  But she refuses to repent.  What would you say to the parents, or other family members concerning their relationship to her?  Are they to not associate with her as well?  For example, if your son or daughter would not repent, would you still have her over for holidays, etc.?

Good question. The several stages in the process are often confused. During church discipline every effort of the entire church, including family members, is turned toward urging the person to repent. This is the “tell it to the church” stage. After that, when he is put out of the church, he is to be treated “as a heathen man and a publican” i.e. as an unbeliever.

So, how do you treat an unbeliever? You evangelize him! You have him over for a barbecue, you go golfing with him, you love him and seek opportunities to talk to him about his need for the Lord. It is during the “tell it to the church” stage that you tell him that you can’t go to the game with him.

Bill, I would love to go to the game with you. We used to enjoy great times tailgating together. But now, you have chosen to break that fellowship we once enjoyed because of your sin. Instead of going to the game, let’s spend the time talking about getting this thing resolved.

After he refuses to respond to these admonitions of the entire church, the church makes a formal judgment that the person is not a believer (since he does not act like one) and is therefore to be treated as an unbeliever. So treat him like one!

Books related to Reconciliation:

1. From Forgiven to Forgiving  by Jay Adams
2. Handbook of Church Discipline by Jay Adams
3. How to Handle Trouble by Jay Adams

Check out our online course, Church Discipline/Forgiveness taught by Jay Adams!

The Christian Counselor’s New Testament and Proverbs, translated by Jay Adams

Visit our online bookstore for all your biblical counseling resource needs.
For biblical counseling training, check out our list of INS Online Courses.

Follow INS on Social Media:
– Facebook: noutheticstudies
– Twitter: @noutheticstud
– Instagram: @noutheticstudies

The post Church Discipline appeared first on Institute for Nouthetic Studies | Biblical Counseling.

Paul was clear about the urgency of the matter:

Reject a factious man after the first and second warning, knowing that such a man is perverted and is sinning, being self-condemned.

In Titus 3:10 he made it clear that quick action is called for when someone is noticed in the corner with a number of persons in secretive discussions. He said whenever a factious person is discovered, counsel once or twice, and if there is no positive response, get rid of him. There was to be no delay or long drawn out process in which there is time for him to continue his nefarious work. He is to be confronted, and unless there is a positive response (which I assume means repentance), there is to be no more delay.

Take to heart what Paul advises. Few things can be as devastating to a church than when someone succeeds in splitting it.

Books related to Reconciliation:

1. From Forgiven to Forgiving  by Jay Adams
2. Handbook of Church Discipline by Jay Adams
3. How to Handle Trouble by Jay Adams

Check out our online course, Church Discipline/Forgiveness taught by Jay Adams!

The Christian Counselor’s New Testament and Proverbs, translated by Jay Adams

Visit our online bookstore for all your biblical counseling resource needs.
For biblical counseling training, check out our list of INS Online Courses.

Follow INS on Social Media:
– Facebook: noutheticstudies
– Twitter: @noutheticstud
– Instagram: @noutheticstudies

The post Schism appeared first on Institute for Nouthetic Studies | Biblical Counseling.

It is frightening when you think about how seldom the answer is correct. How seldom has any genuine attempt been made to follow biblical instructions. It isn’t a matter, usually, of attempting to be biblical, but struggling with it. When I find that to be true, it’s a pleasure to help such persons do the job they are trying to do. No, the majority of wrong responses are not like that at all. Instead, what you hear is some miserably feeble, non-biblical, half-genuine, attempt to meet the problem. Indeed, even more often, you discover that nothing is done. The problem has usually been ignored rather than engaged. The church that ought to be involved, typically, turns its back upon the problem and looks the other way. And people drift away into even more serious trouble. Finally, their names are quietly dropped from the role!

This is a tragic situation. The church has, more often than not, given up on its responsibilities. It has become a tragic failure in shepherding its flock. There has been extensive effort by most churches to expand its membership. Big church, marketing tactics, and the like today are the concern of churches as a whole—not their fundamental responsibilities toward their people. It’s time for the church to wake up to this failure and do something about it.

The one encouraging factor in all of this is that there are people here and there who are becoming concerned—some alarmed. Others, not knowing what the problem is, are startled when I ask my two questions. It’s almost a shock to some of them to hear anyone think and speak like that. They are startled into concern. But, here and there, people—far too few—are becoming aware of the situation and want to see change. This change in viewpoint is encouraging. You may be able to assist in this effort.

I have a suggestion. If you don’t believe me, try the following: the next time someone tells you about a person who is in trouble, ask my two questions. Then, sit back and watch the response. Then, learn more about the situation. Make an effort to point out the obvious—the church has been missing out for a long time. It’s time for this to become a national discussion, leading to sweeping change. Will you be an enabler in bringing this about?

The post Two Questions to Start With appeared first on Institute for Nouthetic Studies | Biblical Counseling.

Then, when other remedies prove unsatisfactory, the counselor who eventually is called upon to solve problems, and wants to do so biblically, finds his task far more difficult and complex than it would have been if Christ had been obeyed in the first place. Everyone would have been spared much agony and the Lord would have been honored.

How about that problem person you’ve been concerned about? Is church discipline called for? If so, don’t fail to exercise it—Jesus promised to be in your midst when you do.

The post Is Church Discipline Called For? appeared first on Institute for Nouthetic Studies | Biblical Counseling.